Kitten
by Snoopy2
Summary: People die. Angst ensues. Set just after Squire. Plz read Chapter 3 A/N thindee... Luv Snoopy
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Fullstop. Not a goddamn thing.  
  
A/N: This is my first TP fic. I don't know why I wrote it . . . it just happened. I think it might be cuz I just read Squire, and I realised that TP has turned everyone into COMPLETE ASSHOLES. Therefore, I protest, and start killing everyone off. Don't hate me. PLEEEEEEEEEASE. Luv ya. : )  
  
PS Please excuse the general crappyness of this chapter. It's just a prologue. Introducing the scene etc. Chapter 1 will be up soon.  
  
  
  
" . . . " = SPEECH  
  
. . . = THOUGHTS  
  
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Jon was in his study when the messenger rode in. Hands shook violently as the sealed parchment was presented. Why was this man shaking so badly? I'm not THAT scary, am I? Damn. Careful fingers, painfully adorned with jewels, broke the seal. DEATHS NOTICE. Shit. Just what I need today. " . . . would like to inform . . . " yada yada yada. Why do they bothe. . . "SHIT!!!!!!" Jonathan, King of Tortall, ran from the chamber to the nearest hearth.  
  
A short, redheaded figure stood on the parapets as Numair Salmalin rode towards the gates of Pirates Swoop. It was the only figure in sight. Where are all the guards? This isn't like George. Numair had been doing some nice, relaxing, (extremely dangerous) experiments when Jons' head had appeared in the flames. The king had looked panic-stricken - something was very wrong. Even now, as the mage rode up, Numair wasn't quite sure what the fuck was going on. Then he saw the bodies. Neat rows filled the courtyard just beyond the walls of the Swoop. Filled being the operative word. The open gates were more-or-less intact, showing only minimal fire damage. The surrounding harbour was ablaze. His confusion didn't last long, however, as a soot streaked man ran to meet him. "Master Numair! Thank the Gods! Please hurry, we can't loose her too!"  
  
Loose her too? "Who?"  
  
"The Lioness, sir. She's gonna jump, methinks!"  
  
For all the jumbled thoughts racing through Numairs mind at that moment, Alannas was the opposite. All she could comprehend was It's all my fault Why wasn't anyone making sure none of the pieces of shit that did this got away? because there's no-one left he cold mind answered. The ships aflame in the harbour did nothing to appease her torment. It's all my fault Alanna stepped forward into nothingness.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
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The Royal Palace in Corus was in an uproar as Kel, newly knighted, searched for Neal. Veralidaine Sarrasri, wildmage of Tortall, hurried past her in the opposite direction. No one was quite sure what was going on. The King had dispatched a company of the Kings Own and two groups of the Queens Riders a few hours ago, then run to saddle his own horse. The Queen had gone with the soldiers. Only quick words from Sir Gary of Naxen had kept King Jonathan in the capital this long. Something was desperately wrong, and Kel was determined to discover what it was.  
  
Why am I so desperate to know? Kel frowned and picked up her pace. The rumour, duh The talk around the palace was that they had been sent to Pirates Swoop, home of the Lioness. Kels Hero. Despite the fact that Alanna had dined with Kel and her friends a couple of nights ago, after Kels Ordeal, the younger knight was still very much in awe of her. I thought Neal said she was grumpy!?! The womans frown deepened further. Neal will know what's going on, he always does . . .   
  
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" . . . Third Company just rode in. They've started digging. She's luck you were there, Numair. She'd be dead if not for you. Do you think . . ."  
  
"Drink this." Thayets face leered into view, a steaming mug clasped in her hand. Alanna looked away. The Queen sighed and placed the brew on a small table. "Alanna, sweetheart?"  
  
" . . . "  
  
"Do you remember what's happened?"  
  
" . . . "  
  
"Jon's on his way."  
  
" . . . "  
  
Fuck Queen Thayet of Tortall had ridden in with one of the rider groups just ahead of the company of soldiers. Numairs words had hit her hard. "No survivors". It seemed that the Swoop had been attacked just before dawn. Evidently, magic had been used to hide the pirates attack - the defenders were helpless, dead before the invaders had set foot on shore. Returning home from Corus around lunchtime, the Lioness had found the pirates plundering her home. She hadn't said a word since, other than the spell she had used to destroy those who had murdered her family. The pirates, too, had no survivors. All that was left for the soldiers to do was bury the dead - a total in the hundreds. Laid out in the next room were the bodies of the noble family of Pirates Swoop - Baron George Cooper and his five children. Also there, cold as marble, were Sir Myles of Olau and his wife Eleni, the childrens grandparents. The entire family had been waiting for Alanna to return, so they could travel together. To my sons wedding . . .  
  
"Hurry up, Jon . . . "  
  
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A/N: So there you have it. A prologue. Uh . . . sorry? Don't hate me. Notice I managed to only kill off a fief full of people? That was a great achievement for me. Expect angst later.(DUH) Luv ya! 


	2. (1) Memories of a kitten

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Fullstop. Not a goddamn thing.  
  
" . . . " = SPEECH  
  
. . . = THOUGHTS  
  
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I'm gonna tell you a story.  
  
Once apon a time there was a girl. She had red hair and purple eyes. One day she decided that she wanted to be a knight, so she dressed up as a boy and went to the palace. Seven and a half years later she got her shield, killed a Duke, and became a bazhir. Then she went to the Roof of the World and got a pretty jewel from a big ape with a sword. She met a princess on her way and took her home for the prince. One day the Duke came back to life, and tried to destroy the country. The girl was the Kings Champion by then, and she killed him again. But not before Life screwed her over and her brother and her kitty-cat died. Then she got married, had five kids, and engaged in several arguments with His-Royal-Pain-in-the-Ass, the King. She thought life was perfect. Then Life decided to screw her again. But you already know all this. You already know how she lost everything she had left. You already know how the higher people get, the harder they fall. The girl fell hard. You know who the girl is, too. You wouldn't be here if you didn't.  
  
I had a cat once. I had a brother, too. And a father, a mother, a husband, children. There are two things that connect all these people. One's me, the other's that they're dead. All of them. Every single godsdamned one. Them - me - death. Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it? I thought life was perfect - sun was shining, birds were singing, Jon was an asshole . . . then I woke up.  
  
Someone once told me that life's what you make of it. They're what's generally known as a COMPLETE IDIOT. Dickwad extrodinaire. Life's shit no matter what you do. The only way you can lessen the pain is to stay away from every other living soul on this crappy-ass planet. Like I said before, I fell pretty hard. It won't happen again. I have a job to do - cuz I don't break my promises. Ever.  
  
Promises are funny. You say them - and usually mean to stick to them, I admit - but you never really know what you're getting yourself into. I promised I would always be there when Jon needed me, so now I'm stuck in this life until he croaks as well - I hope he does it soon. I promised to always love and honour George (I never said anything about obeying him), so now I'm stuck as a heartsick Champion, Lady Knight of Tortall, until the day I see him again. And that'll be when I'm dead. Then again, I've been half dead for the last twenty years. Thom used to always tell me that we would both die at exactly the same time. That one couldn't possibly live for more than the other, even for a millisecond. He was right. Half of my soul died with him in that chamber, and the other half died with George and my baby children. With Myles. With the only things I had left. My body's still going, but there's nothing inside it anymore, not even anger, not even pain. Just nothing. And somehow that's more terrible than the worst pain I could ever imagine - because alongside pain there's always a glimmer of hope, of light. But I don't feel any of that now. I'm numb. I know the pain's coming, it just hasn't arrived yet, I guess. It's hiding in the shadows, waiting for me. Stalking me.  
  
I spoke to Keladry of Mindelan the night after she was knighted. I was so happy - I finally had some company in my chosen profession. And she was REAL. That's what I told her. She's. Real. I've never been real, and I never will be. I'm the one everyone would love to be, but so totally impossible to achieve it was never even worth the effort of trying in the first place. I'm fake, like the traditionalists have been claiming since the day I 'came out'. I'm UNREAL. I never asked to be half witch, half warrior - that's what I tell people. It wasn't my choice. Doesn't really matter now, after what I did to those bastards who took away the rest of my life. I finally proved those cock-suckers right. One spell and they all melted in the flames. Kinda the way it happened with Roger. The flames just swallowed them up. Them - me - death. The story of my life. "It's harder to heal than it is to kill. The Mother knows why, but you've a skill for both" That's what Maude told me, my last day in Trebond. She was wrong. Death is my gift, not life. I have a 'skill' for death only. Healing is just a temporary relief from the inevitable. Roger tried to cheat death, and was sent into purgatory. I'd prefer death, because the nothingness of limbo is where I am now. Oblivion.  
  
The really confusing thing is that through the void that my brain now consists of I'm telling you this. It's the only even semi-conscious thought I've had since I got home. I guess they're not completely mistaken when they tell me that talking helps. But then talking will make the pain will come.  
  
I fell pretty hard. It won't happen again. I have a job to do - cuz I don't break my promises. Ever. The tale has ended. I've woken up…  
  
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A/N: Chapter 1. So…yeah. Hope ya didn't hate it 2 much. Plz r/r, thanx. Let me know what ya hate so I can, uh, not do it again. Luv ya ^_~  
  
PS. NO-ONE ELSE DIED IN THIS CHAPTER!. Aren't ya proud of me? 


	3. The Ballad of the Bad Fic

Hello, my pretties. It's me. Snoopy. You may have been wondering why this fic hasn't been updated since Chapter 1, but I doubt it… I'll tell u anywayz.  
  
Well…  
  
Once apon a time there was a writer named Snoopy. She liked to write fanfics, coz, well, she just did. One day she was sitting down, writing a fic (Kitten), when she realised that it wasn't going anywhere, and she therefore had no idea what to write next. So she stopped.  
  
(Plus I think it's crap.)  
  
So, unless anyone can come up with a plot for me, or unless lotsa people beg me to write more until I get a burst of inspiration (both of which I strongly doubt will appeal to anyone), the fic is at its' end. Finished. Done.  
  
If you do want me to write more (???), plz review & tell me. Otherwise, I will see you all in your own wunnerful fics, or in my new TP one, 'The Fate of a Nation' (shameless self-promotion? Never…), which is rather a lot better than this one, if I do say so myself ;).  
  
Luv  
  
Snoopy 


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